Monday, September 22, 2008

Sickly Se

After Blue’s funeral, most of the people in our house were sick. Since September 6, I was already sick. I thought I’m already okey so I decided to go to work the following Monday. But because of the heavy rain last Monday night– September 8, I got fever the following day. I asked Ms. Lisa to allow me to go home by afternoon because I feel so cold and I had a terrible headache. I was not able to come to the office for the next 3 days. I felt so dizzy and always wanted to vomit any food I take. The following week, feeling okey and alive again, I decided to go work. But when I was in the meeting, I felt so dizzy and cold again. DES staff said that I should go home since I looked so pale. Sir Xenon even asked me not to come to office the following day and let myself have a good rest. Rodel took me to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor said I have low blood pressure which is the cause of my dizziness and vomiting. Since I am also complaining for my aching hip, I was test for UTI but found negative on it. I was given anti-vertigo capsules and multi-vitamins with iron. Dr. Borja also advised me have lots of sleep and eat well. When I came to the office the following day, they said maybe I am pregnant because I always feel so dizzy. I told them I wish I am pregnant but sad to say I just had my period last week.

Mourning for an Angel

Time is so fast. Anything happened without warning. For the past 4 days from September 4 – 7, 2008, our family was in trial… trial on our faith to God and trial how we love each other. Once again, we have proved that our family is always there for each other, that we love each other inspite of the fact that sometimes we have problem in our family especially when we started our business.

It was Thursday morning when Rodel called up informing me that Ate Weng was in the hospital and delivered a baby boy. At first I was excited to hear that but I paused realizing that it is not yet her due date. Rodel changed his voice saying that Blue, the supposed to be nickname of the baby, was already dead in Ate’s womb for almost 2 days.

I decided to go home quickly after asking some advised from Civil Registry Office. Ramil was in the house already. He decided to go home too while Reggie went straight to the hospital. Rhed had no idea what is happening, why everybody went home early. I explained to him that his mom is in the hospital and Papa Jesus took his baby brother. He cried a lot. He wanted to go to his mom and dad to the hospital. I console him by giving him chocolate. At around 4pm, I went to the hospital to visit my sister-in-law. She was sleeping. I felt sorry for the loss of her child.

Friday – September 5. Everybody has his/her own job to do. Kuya Boy was in hospital to take care of Ate Weng. Gie was his alternative. Mommy went to the church to arrange the funeral mass of Blue – the child’s nickname. She was also assigned to arrange Ate Weng’s SSS. Ramil went to the Areflor to arrange Blue’s funeral. Me and Rodel went to Cityhall, St. Peter Parish and to the Cemetery. Mylene and I were also assigned to buy foods for the Blue’s wake. It was already 5pm when Areflor took Blue out of the hospital. Mom and I took clothes for Blue. Ate Weng were able to go out of the hospital later that night.

Saturday morning, I felt so sick. I was not able to go the Areflor. Ramil and Rodel went back to the cemetery to check the grave of Blue. It was 5pm when Kuya Boy informed me that Che, Tintin and Nona were in the Areflor. Though I still feel dizzy and weak, I tried to see them. The priest and some church people went to Blue’s wake to bless and pray for him.

Sunday – September 6. My dad’s family – my grandmother and uncles – were in the house at around 6am. They will attend the funeral of Blue. At 8am, we were all in the Areflor. We took Blue to St. Nicola’s Church which is a walking distance to the funeral parlor. I thought of not going to the cemetery because I am not feeling well but decided to go since some of my friends were there to attend the funeral.

Blue was placed inside the niche of my dad. Red placed some toys inside Blue’s coffin. He said it’s the only gift he can give to Blue since he cannot play with him anymore. Some of those who seen my dad’s body said his body is still whole. His body just dried up and has not decomposed yet.

We prepared some foods for those who attended the funeral. Everybody felt so tired after the sad 3 days. Kuya Boy and his family decided to stay in our house to ensure that Ate’s health will be monitored well.

Last Sunday, September 14, was Blue’s ninth day after his birth and death. We offer some prayers for him and for my dad. We also asked the priest to bless our house since we seen some “good friends” again inside the house.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Pros and Cons of a Business

Last Tuesday, August 5, we opened our new Sari-sari Store/Carenderia. It will be managed by Kuya Boy who sells dishes aside from basic goods. Mom also sells street foods such as cheese sticks, kikiam, fishball, etc. Among the three of us, Mom has the biggest income. Me and Rodel on the other hand, we earn by selling sago’t gulaman and by delivering breakfast in the office. With this little business, we are able to have at least a small income to support our daily needs. Actually, we really wanted to have this kind of business to keep Rodel and Kuya busy aside from the income we could generate from it.

Since the opening of the store, we forgot to take care of the things we usually do like house chores. Our house is now always messy. Mom forgot to do the laundry last week. She even asked Mylene to do it for her. She never prepares breakfast, lunch or dinner anymore. We, Rodel and me, now seldom to go to church nor prays our novena together. The usual exchange story before bed is now gone. Today, before we go to bed, we prepare the ingredients of the dish to be cooked for tomorrow morning. No matter how long or short our sleep is, we need to be up at 4am to prepare all the orders. Sometimes I felt so tired. When calculating our income from this business and thinking that we are tired every waking day, we wanted to stop it. But hey! What the heck of being tired… we are just starting, right?

Maybe these are things that we can’t do or things we sometimes ignored because of our business. I hope that we could learn to work it out before it’s too late.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Lasema Spa.. A Different Way of Relaxation

In the past few days, UDD staffs were so busy preparing for the report of Makati BEST component which will be presented to the Mayor, Vice-Mayor and consultants. Last Monday night, the verdict on our works was given. All presentations didn’t pass the expectations of our higher officials. Maybe due to nervous or lack of thorough study on the proposed programs/projects, the presentation was cut and decided to revise or improve the work. The meeting adjourned at 9:00 o’clock in the evening and we are so tired. Though dismayed on the output of the presentation, Ma’am Merl said that we should let ourselves be stressed on what had happened. So without any plan, she invited us to join her in Lasema Plaza for a spa. Together with Sir Xen, Ms. Lisa and Che, we were pampered with different experience of relaxation. We availed their Swiss Massage and famous Jjim Jil Bang with dry saunas of Oak and Clay, Dome Clay Salt and Charcoal.
The Oak & Clay Sauna has loess or “yellow earth from pure natural sedimentary stone” that has been proven to intensify the body’s natural curing process.
The salt & charcoal sauna contains carbon and minerals like calcium, magnesium and iron. It induces relaxation, assists the body’s detoxification process, and speeds up the body’s metabolism.

The Dome Clay Sauna contains Chungito which is the main material used for the interior. Chungito is a porous mud, which quickly dissipates heat, and its high-alkali content is believed to release energy in the form of negative ions.

Che and I decided to go back on Lasema. We will just wait for Jo so our whole barkada could experience it also.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Birthday Celebration of the Three Francisco

Last July 24, I left the office early. Rodel picked me up and we went to the cemetery. It was my father’s 62nd birthday. Mom and my siblings went to the cemetery late afternoon. With some friends, we celebrated his birthday even he is gone for almost five years now.

In my father’s family side, there are three (3) Francisco Ricamara. All of them were born on the 24th of June. My father’s cousin, Uncle Boy, was the youngest and the first one who past away among the three. The other is my grand father who celebrated his 82nd birthday and, of course, my father.

Grandpa celebrated his birthday last Sunday to ensure that our relatives will be present. It was also my chance to introduced Rodel to my family. It was almost 3 years ago the last time I saw my grandmother. And good that she’s still healthy. Lola Doring will be in Manila until October. Uncle Ramon promised that he bring Lola Doring to spend a week in our house. It was really nice to know that some of my cousins were already married.

Aside from funeral, birthday is another venue for us to meet our relatives on my father’s side. Although New Year is set as family reunion, we cannot afford to go in Marinduque every year. I wish there is always a birthday celebration so we could always see our relatives.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Am I Jealous?

The other day, Yana called to her dad asking him to come back to Guam and be with her. Yana is now vacationing with Ate Naty in Saipan because her mom is in Hawaii with her new boyfriend. I know Rodel miss Yana so much. I understand and I know how much he loves his daughter. With his stories about Yana, it seemed as if I already knew and already met the kid. What I do not want to Rodel is he is always comparing Red to Yana. How smart and behave Yana compared to Red. It hurt me maybe because Red is my nephew and I love Red so much. Rodel explained that the stubbornness of Red made him miss Yana. Sometimes I want to meet Yana. As Rodel said Yana is his replica – from habit, attitude to face.

Yana and Rodel

I told Rodel that I fear having a child. What if Rodel will compare my child to Yana? What if my child is not as bright or as beautiful and behaves like Yana? I have nothing against Yana. Maybe I’m jealous. No, I’m not! Rodel promised that he will not compare our child to Yana. And I hope he will keep his promise.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Child Jealousy

It broke my heart when Red said “hindi na ba ako mahal ni tita? Mas mahal na ba nya ang boyfriend nya?”. At young age, he already knew how to be jealous. I know he was just “naglalambing” coz he is sick.

Before when Rodel was not yet here, all my attention was with Red. I always dropped to their house to check him, his studies, and his day. I always have “pasalubong” for him.

I’ve been busy these past few days. During weekend, I made it sure that I could have quality time with Rodel. Sometimes we visit Red if he can’t go to our house.

Last night he asked me again same question. He even offered a dinner for us in their house. I explained that my love for him is different from the love I have for his Tito Rodel. However, Rodel didn’t agree to Red’s idea. Rodel wanted to discipline the child. He told me that Red should earn anything he wanted because sometimes Red is abusive. He cries when he can’t get what he wants.

I just hope Red will understand why I need not to give him anything he wanted. He is just jealous to the attention I give to Rodel which is supposed to be for him. But I love him much.

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Chairmen of the Board

My brother was elected president of Parent-Teacher Association at West Rembo Elementary School where Red is in Grade 1. As president, his first proposal is to provide blackboard for the students since Red’s class is using the school museum and there is no blackboard available for them to use. It was agreed that all 39 students will contribute P100 for the blackboard.

With only P1,400 at hand, my brother decided to start making blackboard. Rodel helped him in the planning how to make blackboard. He also accompanied Kuya in buying all the materials needed. For three days, Rodel and Kuya had been carpenters. I also helped them in small ways like holding woods or bringing them something to drink.
The board makers
Rhedred and me
Today Rodel and Kuya brought the board in school. I am sure their effort will benefit the 39 pupils of WRES.

Funday Sunday

For UDD staff, July 6, 2008 is marked in the calendar as special day. It is the 7th birthday of Keena Marie, the daughter of our department head. With a theme of Welcome to My Fantasy World, the party was held at Grand Carousel Area, Star City.

Everybody was invited. Some of the staff brought their their family especially their children. I took Rodel with me. It was already 2pm when we left home. Before going to Star City, we dropped by at Guadalupe Mall to buy gift.

We reached Star City around 3pm. The party offered lots of fun games for parents and kids. There was also fabfoto section where participants can have free 4 shots of pictures which will be put inside a tumbler and serve as souvenir. Participants also mobbed the tattoo section. The special guests of the party were Barny and Sponge Bob. The kids were so happy to see the two giant mascots. After the party, Engr. Panganiban distributed free ride-all-you-can tickets.

Tattoo on my arm

Arms that are ready to ride
Excited to have lots of picture, our first stop was the Pirates of Caribbean. Together with my officemates, our first ride was the Snow White Antique which depicts the first model of cars ever made. Rodel and I also tried the roller coaster Wacky Dragon. The Zyklon Loop, which can cause headache and stiff neck, is a 360 loop coaster. Though afraid, I still tried the trill of riding Zyklon Loop. I just closed my eyes, hold Rodel’s hand so tight and when I opened my eyes, the ride was over. The Balloon Wheel offered a panoramic view of Manila. Even if tired from previous rides, we tried the Surf Dance. I almost vomit because of the giddy ride. Our last stop was Bumper Car. Rodel did not join me. Together with Tin, Rain, Karen, we endured the long line just to ride to my all time favorite.

My heart was captured by a pirate

Snow White Antique

Riding in the antique model car of Snow White

Inside the Balloon Wheel
The long line at Bumper Car
It was 8pm when we decided to go home. With Zagu on hand, we walked up to Roxas Boulevard to get a bus and to enjoy the moment together.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

New Shoes for New Sport

After the UDD monthly meeting last Friday, hurriedly I went to Guadalupe Mall where Rodel was waiting for me. The shoes we bought last Thursday was bigger by an inch. So he asked me to accompany him to exchange the shoes. It was good that the salesman who assisted us last Thursday was there. After telling him the size of Rodel’s feet, he immediately gave an 8 ½ size shoes.

Excited with his new shoes, our previous plan of playing badminton was finally happened. It was just 5 o’clock in the morning of Saturday, Rodel asked me to get up and prepare for our badminton challenge. Both of us have no knowledge in playing the said sports. At 6am, we were already at Makati Park and Garden. The park was full of joggers, people playing badminton and those who are waiting for the start of aerobic dance.

We played for 2 hours. Rodel murmured that he was tired not because of playing badminton but because of picking the shuttle cock. I always miss hitting the shuttle cock. When I am the server, the shuttle cock went to different direction instead of going to Rodel’s area. Another thing that Rodel’s complaining about was that I am easy to get tired. I asked him twice for a break because I felt really tired. He explained to me that the reason why he wanted us to play badminton is to make me strong especially my bones. Bonding moments was another reason. Though really tired from playing, I don’t want to disappoint him. I understood that playing badminton is for my own good.

Friday, July 4, 2008

I Remember the Boy

Today I saw somebody close to my heart. It has been months since the last time I saw and talked to B. I was nice to remember that special feeling I had for him when we were still together at the Center. In 2006, I was assigned in Center for almost 4 months. I knew him before and we got to know more when we were in Center. During that time, I knew that we both feel something special for each other. There were lots of humors coming out about us. In spite of everything that happened in Center, he stood beside me. We never talked about that “special feeling” because I knew it is impossible. He has his own family and I don’t want to be called “other woman”. Maybe I was just attracted to the built of his body and his height and his being a good person. He reminded me of C, my ex-bf, who had the same built and height like B.

Many times he said that he wanted to visit me at home. I honestly told him I have boyfriend already. I noticed the changes in the expression of his face. He wished me good luck and said he hope to meet Rodel someday. Seeing him again today makes my heart ponder. I told him that I thought he left already. He said “no, coz I’m waiting for you”. I just smiled and said goodbye.

True Scary Lucky Signs

It was true. The sign being given by “Grim”, “Black Shadows” and other “visitors” in our house was true. As a mentioned in my previous posts that every time they appear, there will be unexpected money for me. Yes, it happened yesterday. And even though I’m still tired from office work, Rodel and I were able to go out last night. I wanted him to have a new rubber shoes.

I know he is not used of wearing cheap shoes, but he suggested buying shoes in Guadalupe instead in malls where branded shoes can be found. Before going to OTTO Store, we went to Lotto Outlet to bet. Almost everyday, two to three numbers of our numbers come out in the Lotto winning combination. We hope one of these days that all of our six-combination numbers will come out so we will become millionaire hehehhe! Then we went to OTTO, Rodel chose a gray rubber shoes. After buying shoes, we went to Liwanag store hoping we could buy a night light for our room. Rodel has specific night light to buy in his mind, but it was not available. Our third stop was the Barber Shop. It’s been month since Rodel had his mane cut.

We planned to eat in Chowking but we remembered Mom. She was alone in the house. We know for sure that she prepared dinner. So instead of eating, we went to groceries. Even with limited budget, going to groceries is one of the activities we love doing together. It was past 9pm when we arrived home.

We hope that next time our “special friends” appeared again, there will be a bigger amount in my pocket.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Celebration of Hard Work

It was announced last Monday afternoon that Urban Planning Division will have a meeting by 4:30 pm. It was past seven in the evening but Sir Xenon was still out of sight. Everybody was hungry already. When we planned to leave ‘coz we can’t wait for him, he suddenly appear. He asked where the others are. She and Juliard were absent. June and Mami went home early.

When he walked inside the office, all staff went to conference room since we thought that the meeting will start soon. But he asked us to get our things and go downstairs and wait for Ed for the vehicle. Everybody was confused what is going on. We really have no idea what’s the meeting will all about and where is the venue. Inside the car, he asked us if we have any idea. We said no. We tried to remember if there is any occasion. We even guessed that we will celebrate because Chase came to the office.

The car stopped in Macapagal Seaside. Sir Xen chose Master Cook of Hong Kong Restaurant where there were lots of Chinese dining in. Sir Xen bought the seafoods personally. We’ve waited for an hour for the food to be served. While waiting, Joyce, Che and Daiz decided to buy DVDs at the nearby stores. The table was occupied by Halayan soup, grilled tuna belly, prawn, tofu, squid, tahong and crabs. The boys ordered beer and the girls ordered fruit shakes. While eating, Sir Xen said that it is a celebration for all the hard work of UPD staff.

Ed tried to clean the table. But since there were lots of foods, we just asked the waiter to pack the food and take it home. It was already 10pm when we decided to leave. Daisy asked Ed to drop her off in Taft Ave. while me and Che dropped off in Guadalupe.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Ghost Stories

Filipinos are known to believe in ghosts, paranormal things, mysteries and other similar creepy stories that would make anyone’s hair stand. Neighbors said that before we moved in our house, the previous occupants died there. We blessed the house and somebody who has a third eye told us that there are ten elves living in our house. It didn’t bother us not until my father died.

In 2003, we invited my two cousins to spend their vacation here in Manila. Grace and Pong were about to sleep when they saw a white lady floating on air going downstairs. The lady passed my brother who was sleeping on the floor.

My frequent visitor is a man. Sometimes I could see him without a face in front of the mirror. Sometimes he is standing beside me on the sofa where I am sleeping. I also could hear his footsteps going to the comfort room. And the most unforgettable experience where I got really scared was when he tapped my back while I was doing my assignment in our computer. I was almost fall down and got really scared since I was alone in our living room. Last Wednesday night while making coffee, I saw him going downstairs.

My mom’s friend Ate Lucy also has a story to tell. She saw a man in a white barong went to the comfort room. She waited for him to come out so she could also use the CR. But minutes passed, the man was still there. Due to urgency, she asked mom who was the man. She was shocked to find out that no one inside the CR.

Even Rodel experienced unusual things in our house. The first thing he saw was a lighted candle floating on air. He also saw the man, the one who always visits me, looking on us while we were sleeping at the living room. The other week, while praying our novena, he saw this person in black hood, like the dress of Grim or a Nun and people who are member of a cult, looking at us.

Actually, I already saw this “Grim” last March 21, 2008. It was Good Friday. I was waiting for Rodel to come home. I can’t sleep that night then suddenly I saw Grim looking at me. I felt scary but I close my eyes and said a prayer. Then he disappeared.

Yesterday was our usual Sunday. Everything was fine and in order. While preparing our dinner, Rodel asked me if I moved our altar because I cleaned the room early morning. I said no. He called me upstairs to see that the image was already facing the wall. I didn’t even touch the image of Sto. Nino when I cleaned the room. No one came inside our room except Rodel and me. Before we sleep last night, we lighted one candle for their souls.

We don’t know what is their purpose of their appearance. We noticed that every time they appear, we received money --- a payment of something, bonus, etc…hehehhe! We sometime said that the next time they will appear, we hope that they will tell us the lucky numbers of lotto.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Songs of Love

Please put your headphone on and listen to the song “Ikaw ang Pangarap” while reading my blog.

Last Saturday, Rodel put the component inside our room. He asked me to bring my CDs in the office. He loves music. He even has a very good voice. He always teased me with my voice. Singing is one of our favorite past time. Right now, however, our magic sing is defective; our singing career was stopped for a while.

When the song “Ikaw ang Pangarap” of Martin Nievera was not yet released as official song of Lobo, Rodel already heard it was sang by the singer during his performance in Guam. Rodel asked me to look for the lyrics of it but couldn’t find it since it is new and not familiar to me. It was the 4th song he dedicated to me. Below is the complete list of songs dedicated to me by Rodel:

  • So It’s You – Raymond Lauchengco
  • Afraid For Love To Fade – Jose Mari Chan
  • My Destiny – Jim Brickman
  • Ikaw Ang Pangarap – Martin Nievera
  • I’m Your Angel – R. Kelly & Celine Dion
  • Hero – Enrique Iglesias
  • My Love – WestLife
  • Closer You And I – Gino Padilla

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Trying to Patch Things Up

I was in a hurry to go home the other night. I know Rodel was waiting for me. I felt pity on him because of our situation. It was past 7pm. He was there, in front of the bakery, smiling at me as I dropped off the jeep.

Before we go home, we bought “isaw” and rice. He doesn’t want to eat any food prepared by mom. Mom and Mylene were having dinner when we got home. They invited us to eat dinner. We just didn’t answer. I took plates inside our room and there Rodel ate his dinner. I am not in the mood to eat.

We talked to Mom after Rodel finished his meal. We explained why Rodel don’t eat meals she prepared. Her “idea” of not including us in their meals really plus emphasizing her “pag-aabono sa pagkain” hurt us; that we felt total stranger in our own house. She said she’s mad at me coz I asked her to leave our room last Saturday. I did that because I was in a hurry and don’t want her to be inside our room. That’s the reason she’s trying to explain but that reason is not related to the “ideas” she said to me last Saturday night. We end up with no resolution. She left and went to my brother’s house. She’s avoiding us, avoiding discussing it.

Yesterday, my two brothers talked to me. They said we should just ignore mom’s idea and asked Rodel to eat. I cannot force Rodel. I know him. Except from eating meals prepared by mom, Rodel is still the same, giving respect to mom, talking and helping her in house chores. He just doesn’t want to add to the burden of Mom when it comes to money.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Sad Rainy Weekend

It was a rainy weekend. Together with the rain, my tears were also pouring. Yesterday was the saddest day of our lives. Mom talked to me last Saturday saying that me and my youngest brother should be sharing in paying our house rent so that it will not be hard for me. With the lessen expenses on the rent, however, she also suggested that we (Rodel and I) will not be included in the food she will prepare; that they will not share their food to us. She explained that it’s now hard for her to prepare meals in the morning. She explained that Reggie is seldom to eat at home so she is not be required to cook food. She will just eat at Kuya’s house.

Aside from the food preparation issue, she also asked me when Rodel plans to look for a job. I told her that we are just waiting for the money we will borrow from a friend so that we could look and move to a better house with space for the tricycle. I told her not to worry because we will be out of the house and start the business as soon as we have the money.

I was assigned to pay the house rent; Reggie’s share is for our food while Ramil is responsible for our utility bills. After talking to Rodel of what my mom said, lots of questions came to our minds… why she wanted us or Rodel to be out of the house. Why she’s doing this to me, to us? Did she forget that ever since I got a job, I was always the one taking cared of everything especially when Papa died. That I treated my sisters-in law and girlfriends well.

She said that she asked the comments of my brothers regarding her suggestions. They said that it was not a good idea. With her suggestions, we felt strangers in our own house. We ate our breakfast and lunch inside our room. When we ate dinner, we can’t hardly taste the food and it was hard to swallow (of course, it was their food!). I told Rodel that he could stay in his Kuya’s house for a while if he wanted to. But there were some reasons why he doesn’t want to go there. Aside from being far to me, he doesn’t want his family could think or say something negative to me and to my family.
Before I left Rodel this morning, I made it sure that he has food for lunch. I know he will not attempt to go out of our room. I know how much the ideas hurt him. And I am still thankful that no matter how hard we are going through these days, he’s still there to love me.

Friday, June 20, 2008

My Love Will Always Stay

When I got home last Tuesday, I saw a piece of paper posted on the side of our cabinet. It was a poem written by Rodel for me for our 16th month anniversary.

My Love Will Always Stay

Think about the dreams we’ve shared
Believe they’ll all come true
Think about the happy faces
Immortalized in frames
Think about the gifts we gave
Our thought will never fade.
Think about the gifts you have
Treasure these the most
Think about the loves that born
Amidst all stripe and pain
It may be better or maybe worst
Live your life with faith in God
For love endures, our love remains
Love that bears all joys and pains
But one thing I’m pretty sure
Think about my love for you
And even if I’m gone away
My love will always stay
For you.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Sometimes Money Matters A Lot

When I got home the other night, I noticed that Rodel was so silent. I learned from Mom that he had not eaten his lunch yet. I asked him what happened. He said he was not in the mood. He also admitted that he feels out of place in our house because he noticed that my brothers seldom talk to him and even avoiding him. I feel so guilty for my brothers because I noticed that too. I know he wanted to cry and how sad he is. He said it is okay for him as long as I am with him because he knows that he will not be living with them but with me.

The following night was still the same. He was not in the mood. He was sad. Added to his sadness was the possibility of drawing back our dream business. We need to move house and find a parking space for the tricycle to be given by P&G. We have no money for house deposits. We agreed that if the business does not push through till end of the month, we will withdraw our money. If things don’t agree with our plans, Rodel will start looking for job.

One of the ideas that came to Rodel’s mind was for us to separate for a while. He plans to stay to his brother. I suddenly remembered when C and I was still together, money was the main reason why we decided to separate ways. There was this rich lady who was totally in-love with C. He owed her with a really “big amount” which he could only pay if he will leave me and be with her. Since I don’t have money, I can’t do anything. I don’t know now if they are still together. I'm glad I've discovered earlier that he is after for money not for love; although I felt that he and his family really loved me during our relationship.

Going back to Rodel’s idea, I cried a lot after hearing what he said. He smiled at me and said, he will not leave me because I am the only person he chose to be with for the rest of his life.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Keeping the Moment for Keepsake

Three things that keep Rodel and me busy are propagating Fortune Plant, Designing our Picture Frame and Scrap Book.

When we went to Mindoro, Aunt Aida gave us Fortune Plant (hoping we could be millionaires someday heheheh!). Using an old candle glass, Rodel put two stalks of the plant with rocks to keep it standing. He even tied it with red ribbon. I suggested the gold ribbon; he jokingly said “baka maging sobrang yaman tayo”.

The Fortune Plant

We have an old picture frame which is not being used for years now. When Rodel saw it on top of our cabinet, he suggested putting our pictures there. Since we have no 8’x11’ picture, we put 9 of our wallet-size pictures on it. He even designed it with gold tie to put some effects. He wrote our name on the lower part of the frame. Hanging on the side of our cabinet, everyone could notice it once they entered our room.

I named it “Sketch of our Life”. I started my scrap book last January. Although it is just new, all of our escapades were there. From Pangasinan to Mindoro. Rodel didn’t know about it until I showed it to him last weekend. I usually do it while waiting for Rodel to come home. He suggested including some of our usual activities of doing the laundry and cooking.

I am glad that Rodel and I could share some moments of designing simple things for keepsake.

Remembering Ikang

This morning, Mom heard the church bell. She wondered for whose necrological service it will be. She suddenly remembered what my brother Ramil had told her the other day “nakipaglamay ako kay Ikang”. Ikang, that’s everybody called her. I didn’t bother to ask her real name.

I just knew her through my friend Jen. During our high school years, Jen and I used to spend our afternoon at Aling Cristy’s Store. Ikang was also one of the standbys. She was a newspaper vendor. Actually, she gave me free newspaper everyday since she knew that I took journalism in college. Even with a small earning, she’s very generous to us. Sometimes, she treats us in movies or snacks. She was a friendly person.

When mother said that Ikang was already gone, I feel sad. I was not even able to visit her funeral. Honestly, I was not informed. I just saw her the other week. She fondly called me “Sexy and Cute”. She died with diabetes. Now, no one will call me with that name when I’m on my way home.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Guarding the Pest

Rodel woke me up early. It was just 5:30 in the morning. We suppose to wash our clothes last night but we fell asleep so it was not push through. It was also because I’m too tired from work and Rodel was complaining his aching feet. He asked me to prepare our dirty clothes. After giving him his coffee, I asked if we could finish the laundry within 3 hours. I was tasked to look over our office for its scheduled pest control service so I need to be at the office before 9 o’clock. So instead of doing our laundry, we decided to go back to sleep.

We were in the office at 9:30a.m. We waited for one hour before the pest control personnel came. They started their service at the ground floor. Since our office is in the 5th floor, it was their last destination. Accompanied by Rodel, we kept ourselves busy checking our mails and updating our friendster. I also asked Marifi if she could print our picture in their printer. The pest control personnel took only 15 minutes to spray. They advised us to close the office and be back after 30 minutes for the general cleaning.

Since we have nowhere to go and tomorrow is Fathers’ Day Celebration, we decided to visit Papa’s tomb. The cemetery is near the office. We also went to St. Andrew’s Parish to pray. We always dropped in at St. Andrew’s Parish whenever Rodel fetch me up. Instead of eating in McDo or Jollibee, Rodel suggested to buy noodles and coke for our lunch.

It was already 12nn when we went back in the office. I asked the janitress to eat her lunch before cleaning our office. It was already 1:30pm but the janitress was still out of sight. Rodel started to get bored. When I checked the janitress, she was just eating her lunch. She came back around 1:45p.m. She said she will not be long in cleaning our office. The pictures Marifi printed were already done. We plan to go home early so we could still sleep and later on, do our laundry.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Afternoon Hunger Fever

Out of the blue, everybody seems to be hungry. Mami said its time for coffee break. No supervisors around us so everybody was noisy except for Cherie who is busy with the presentation. Pretending to be busy too, I heard Juliard asking everybody if they have coffee. Eddie went back and forth at Juday’s area looking for food. I heard Mami and Mitch talking about oatmeal. Alex went to Joyce’ place for some chicha. I also went to Juday’s corner hoping I could find some biscuits but no luck for me too.

Suddenly, Joyce came with a dozen of instant coffee. Each was given with one sachet of coffee. I followed Joyce when I saw her checking our stocks of food inside the cabinet. I told her to check if there is century tuna. I asked Mami if she have biscuit in her locker. Thank God! She has 2 Rebisco biscuits. Everybody was so happy knowing that there is something that could relief our hunger.

We went to the pantry to microwave the tuna. Eddie and Juliard also microwave the Vienna sausage. There were left over rice at the table. With some exchange of stories, we ate the biscuits, rice, sausage and tuna. We asked Juliard to wash the dishes after.

This afternoon is one of the best days for us. We could be noisy, hungry and work without pressure coming from our boss.

Have a break, have a coffee!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Mindoro Escapade

I woke up early last Friday (June 6, 2008) to catch the bus for Batangas Port by 6am. While preparing my things, I can’t find my traveling bags. So I went to my Kuya’s house to borrow his bag. It was already 7:30am when I reached Guadalupe. I’ve waited for the bus for almost an hour but there was no bus passing by. So I decided to go to Jams’ Terminal in Buendia. The bus departed at 9am and I was in Batangas Port area at 11:30am. I took SuperCat to reach Mindoro Island fast and early. I don’t know the exact address of my Aunt but she told me to ask the jeepney driver to drop me off in front of OZ Mini Mart. Actually it was my second to go to Mindoro but I can’t remember anymore the place since there are new establishments in Aunt’s area.

It was 3pm when I reached the house. Everyone was waiting for me. My Aunt prepared food for me while Rodel took my things inside the room. Maybe because of stress and long trip, I had a terrible headache. They said “baka nabati or nausog ka”. After Kuya Rommel put his hand over my head, I felt some relief from headache. Maybe it’s true that Kuya Rommel had flatulence. The rest of the day was spent with eating, watching TV, telling stories and fishing at the pond.
Kuya Rommel fishing the pond

On the next day, everybody was excited because we will go swimming. When Ayzel woke up, she immediately wore her bathing suit and prepared her life buoy. It was 8:00am when Gervacio Family, Ate Arlene and her family came to pick us up. Sonny, the Indian national who is a close family friend, was also present. We went to Villa Bautista Resort which is located in Poblacion IV, a nearby barangay. It was like a fiesta. There was a lot of food. Kuya Rommel roasted his 2 ducks. Rodel and Uncle Dan broiled the fishes that we caught last Friday. There were lots of pineapples, dalandan, and guyabano. There was also a videoke which sometimes have technical problems on its sound. The kids swam on the pool from 10am to 4pm. We can’t hardly recognized Ayzel and Jaijai because of sun burn.

Enjoying the vacation together

Uncle Dan facing the challenge of videoke

Rodel and Uncle Dan broiling the fish

Group picture before we left Villa Bautista Resort

On the following day, instead of attending mass as agreed before, Rodel and my cousins went to Pola, the town of Vice-President Noli De Castro, to get some ingredients (I really don’t know its name!) being used for cooking a certain soup. Though I really wanted to go with them, I was left behind since they will just ride motorcycles. Instead of making myself bored at home, Ate May, Ayzel, Mira and other neighboring kids went to Fajardo’s backyard for a swim. Fajardo Family has a small swimming pool which being maintained by their maid since the family already moved to Manila.

Swimming at Fajardo's backyard with the kids

Before evening, Rodel and I was accompanied by Kuya Arnold to Ate Arlene’s house. She asked us to sleep over their new big house. It was 4 kilometers away from Aunt Aida’s house and located in the middle of their farm. There were lots of fruit bearing trees around it. The surrounding was so quiet that you could only hear the chirping of birds and insects. Ate Arlene cooked a delicious dinner. Kuya Rommel’s family, the Gervacio, dinned with us.
The next morning, Monday (June 9), we went to the Wesleyan Church to visit Kuya Rommel’s brother Ronald, who is a pastor. Pastor Ronald’s church was 4 kilometers away. Using motorcycles, we passed 5 barangays before we could get there. In some barangays, we could still see the mark left by previous typhoons wherein houses were washed away by floods. We also saw houses of Mangyan, native of Mindoro.

The beautiful sunrise to wake up with at Ate Arlene's house

It was already 10am, when we went back to Aunt Aida’s house; mom and Uncle Dan were waiting for us. Before we left for Manila, they prepared lots of “pasalubong” and “pabaon”. When we were at Calapan Port, we decided to take the Roro, the big boat, instead of the SuperCat. The Roro voyage took 2 hours but it was not a boring voyage because there was band singing during the trip. By 7:30pm, we were already at home. Back to where we belong. Back to reality. But it was a nice experience and happy weekend to be with relatives. We plan to go back on September in Victoria, Mindoro for the season of fruit-bearing trees.

Last picture with my relatives

It was an exciting experience riding the Roro

Aray ko!.... Ariku!

I've been tagged by Bhang. Tnx!

1. OSWALD - moarimeikatate (sounds like america and states. har.... har... har...)

2. JUNELLE - zudotokutataku (Thank God I’m a Filipino! sounds like sadako. nyay! hehehe)

3. Sanilisa - arikatokitakiarika (Good for tongue twister challenge...hehehe)

4. Jeanne - zukukatotoku (sounds strange hahahha........ )

5. Juliana - zudotakikatoka (oh boy...i am glad that I am not Japanese :D It is difficult name for Juliana....LOL)

6. Janice Ng - ZuKatokimiku ToJi (not quite used to name starting with Zuka...haha)

7. MARZIE - Rinkashizikite (WOW! Very hard to pronounce but love that my Japanese name starts with an R!)

8. JEAN CHIA - Zukukato Mirikika (I love Mirikika! So cute!! ^^)

9. EMILA - Kurinkitaka (Yummy! Sounds like a sushi dish!)

10.FARAH - Lukashikari (I hate this name, it sounds like 'lu kasik kari' translated: you gave curry) hahahahah

11. DEBBIE - teku tutu kiku (lol! Sounds like 3 kawaii characters of a very cute Japanese anime! Love it!)

12.RATU SYURA - Shikachido Arifudoshika (Try saying that 10 times in a row without twisting your tongue!!)

13. Sam - Arikarin, Not bad. Luckily it is not Tamagochi.

14. Liza - Takizika (hehe, sounds like a tamagochi or digimon character)

15. Imelda - Ki-rin-ku-ta-te-ka (Kirinkutateka) sounds awful to me, glad to have not been in born in Japan

16. Bhang - I've chosen to translate my nick over my real name. Here's what i got - turikatoji (do i sound like I'm casting a spell?.. lol.)

17. Se - my japanese name sounds like i was hurt... ARIKU!

What is your japanese name?

Holy Wednesday

Last Wednesday, June 11, 2008, Rodel picked me up to ensure that I could go home early. Wednesday is a special day for us because this is the day when we pray our novena to Mary Mother of Perpetual Help. Although it is not always, whenever Rodel pick me up, we drop by at St. Andrew Parish to say the Novena or simply say our prayer. Before, I never say novena to Mother of Perpetual Help. Rodel introduced me to Her. Some of our wishes, through Her intercession, were already came true. Mother of Perpetual Help is very famous for granting wishes of those who have faith. Every Wednesday, expect heavy traffic in Baclaran where Her church could be found. Aside from praying the novena, if Rodel and I have time, we read and share some insight about the bible. We are not religious couple. We just have faith that there is a God who will always be there to bless and protect us. And all our prayers will be answered through the intercession of Mary Mother of Perpetual Help.

The Miraculous Image of Mother of Perpetual Help

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Mira the Miraculous Child

It was last week of May 2007. Ate May went to the hospital for her monthly check-up. She’s pregnant for 8 months. But the doctor said, the baby will be coming out soon so Ate May was advised not to go home anymore. She was caesarean.

The baby was smaller than the bottle of Coke and she weighed only 1.6 lbs. Nobody was hoping that she could make it. Developed within 8 months in the womb, no one we knew survived it. But the baby was strong. After a long one month at the hospital, you can hear Baby Armie’s voice. Instead of calling her Armie, everyone calls her Mira. Mira for miraculous baby.

Mira is now one-year old. She could walk straight without falling and assistance from anybody. When you ask her say “nanay, tita, lolo, tito and tita”, she could say it very clear. She could count 1 to 5 and can remember every word you will say. Every time we play “saw saw suka mahuli taya”, she will give me a broad sweet smile. She never cries when she bumped her head on the wall. Whatever her mood is, Mira will stop when you ask her of her “wow”, she will show you her little bangles. She is, indeed, a miraculous child.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Power of Internet

Internet. This is where we met, where we started and where we decided to be together.

Maybe it was just a coincidence. But wherever I go (may it be yahoo or cupidbay), he was there too. So one time I asked him, "sinusundan mo ba ako?". He just simply said "no". He was snobbish. Always serious.

One night, when I went home late (around 2am) and open my computer, he was still online. I told him, "siguro marami kang k-chat kasi inaabot ka ng ganyang oras na nakaonline". He said "no, wala lang ako magawa." That night, he was so talkative.

Since then, we discovered that we have lots in common. That we love each other. Until he decided to come home, to leave everything just to be with me.

I am happy with him. We have lots of plans. We now plan to settle down. May God bless our love.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Goodbye Ate Glo...

On my way home last night, a neighbor said "neng si ate glo wala na, knina lang..." She died with cancer... Two weeks ago, when i passed on her nephew's house where she was staying,she called me... saying "neng daan k muna, bisitahin mo nmn ako, lge mo lang akong nilalampasan, baka d n tyo mgkausap pag nawala ako.." so i went inside the house and had a little chat with her...

Ate Glo or Ate Go was a jolly, warm person, intelligent.. although she was unemployed, there's a lot of people who are very generous to help her in all her needs... she has a beautiful daughter who she always worried about... not because the daughter is rebellious or something, but because the daugther is totally opposite of her mother...

Ate Glo fought her cancer for how many years... a samaritan doctor, who was based in visayas, took ate glo in visayas to help her in her medical needs... she stayed there for a year, and when she came back in makati, ate glo was full of life again... doing her routine of cooking, attending bible sharing, etc....

My mom and Ate Glo were good friends... when ate glo's illness attacked again, its now more painfaul, she can't walk, and very very weak... she always call my mom to cook for her... when mom was in pangasinan last april, i received a call from ate glo, saying if mom could visit her coz her time is near already. the doctor gave her 3 months to live... she was crying on the phone... saying "gusto kong makausap lahat ng friends ko pr maalala nila ako... baka d na nya ako abutan pgbalik nya"..God gave ate glo another month to live... but mom is in mindoro, before she left, she said she wanted to visit ate glo but ate glo was in quezon city... like what ate glo said, d n nga sya aabutan ni mami pagbalik nya from mindoro...

Ate glo's remain is in loyola now... but i don't know when she will be cremated... let us pray for her soul... she touched people's heart in simple way... may God forgive her soul and welcome her in heaven.

Secret Love

The most painful love there is
Is a love that is left unknown
A love that cannot be expressed
Affection left unknown
It's a love that hides beyond
The mask of happiness and glee
Yet all that's felt deep inside
is pain and misery.

It's a love
That tries to hide
How much it really cares
It keeps locked within your heart
The feeling glowing there
Afraid of letting it know
That the most painful thing
About this love is that
It never fades away...

About the poem.....
I wrote this poem when I was in 4th year college. I submitted this poem to as an entry to their contest. After a month, I received a mail from saying that my poem was included in their semi-final contest. This poem was also published in Philippines Star in 2001. Inspired by a friend who feel in love with someone she knew she could never be with, this poem was written for Jonalie Lorenzo, my bestfriend and classmate in college.